Humble appreciation

This picture was my folks house on Tortola in the British Virgin Islands. They lived here from when I was 11-18 years old.  They built this small but spectacular home after buying land overlooking Cane Garden Bay.  My father would go up after work with a machete to clear the site of the tiny home.  the unique thing about this rustic home is that only the two bedrooms and kitchen had screened in walls. the rest of the living area just had a roof and where walls and windows normally would have gone was just a raw unobstructed 180 degree view of light blue ocean and the neighboring island. 

My mom would require us to to join her every evening to the right of this photo in the "living rom" to take in the golden hour sunset show with the sounds of Cane Garden Bay drifting in from below. It was living in connection to something greater than my teenage self.  Then the dark would take over with the chorus of the island tree frogs sweetly croaking "coqui coqui".  So much so visitors found it too loud to sleep. My folks are continuing their legacy of finding residence alongside the beauty of raw nature now up in Orcas Island. Their joint quest for what is true to them has always been an inspiration and even if not understood at the time a humble joy to witness.

The Need to Please..AKA abandoning yourself

This is a seductive trap we all fall into once and a while. Underneath the surface is usually the value of belonging.  Yet our saboteur sneaks into this golden value and tarnishes it so that we can hardly see our own reflection any longer.  Instead we only see what others want us to be and we get confused thinking this is the pathway towards love acceptance and belonging.  We think we have to become worthy as if that is a thing to attain. We forget we already own that but have given it away over and over again.

You see when we go for pleasing others or chameleoinzing we usually abandon ourselves in the mix.  This leads to a compartmentalized life that doesn't feel good. What if instead we chose to live from an embodied joyful place where first we check in with self and then other in a loop of awareness.  Would this not be radical? Once we learn to check in with ourselves we can then turn our attention to other but in a much more compassionate gaze. Only at that point or we able to ask, "What is it that they are feeling and needing?" We ask this from a genuine place of empathy rather than pleasing. We may not be able to fulfill their needs however once we fill ourselves up we give others an opportunity to be heard and seen.  This creates a sense of belonging in the truest sense.