This is a seductive trap we all fall into once and a while. Underneath the surface is usually the value of belonging. Yet our saboteur sneaks into this golden value and tarnishes it so that we can hardly see our own reflection any longer. Instead we only see what others want us to be and we get confused thinking this is the pathway towards love acceptance and belonging. We think we have to become worthy as if that is a thing to attain. We forget we already own that but have given it away over and over again.
You see when we go for pleasing others or chameleoinzing we usually abandon ourselves in the mix. This leads to a compartmentalized life that doesn't feel good. What if instead we chose to live from an embodied joyful place where first we check in with self and then other in a loop of awareness. Would this not be radical? Once we learn to check in with ourselves we can then turn our attention to other but in a much more compassionate gaze. Only at that point or we able to ask, "What is it that they are feeling and needing?" We ask this from a genuine place of empathy rather than pleasing. We may not be able to fulfill their needs however once we fill ourselves up we give others an opportunity to be heard and seen. This creates a sense of belonging in the truest sense.